Thursday, June 5, 2008

Knowing What You Don't Want

We all have a wish list, a dreamy set of ideals we'd like our mate to have or be. Unfortunately, it is unrealistic to think that all of these will be met, and waiting for that to happen, could leave you cold and lonely and bitter. The longer we hold out for perfection, the more willing we become to compromise, before long you are considering a dinner invitation from Larry's sister, the girl that has a front tooth missing and smells vaguely of cabbage and cigars.
My point is, it's important to know what you don't want. Make these the things that you stick to hard and fast. Here's an example of what I mean:

I AM 53 MEXICAN IRISHLooking for a woman who is not bisexual, extreme butch, mentally ill, alcoholic or smoker. If you are none of the above please call (818) 955-3153

This is an actual personal add I found in the "LN". This woman knows exactly what she doesn't want, and clearly, that's all that matters!
She doesn't care if you are a seventy year old crack whore, as long as you don't smoke after work. You could be a nineteen year old compulsive liar confined to a wheel chair, as long as you aren't covered in tattoos, have a buzz cut and keep your wallet on a chain.

I'm going to give Larry's sister her number, it's the least I can do!


RED MOJO said...

I think I know Larry's sister, is her name Agatha?

Certain Magician said...

red mojo, LOL Agatha, that might be Larry's other sister!

comfortandjoy said...

This is Larry's sister, and first of all, that is NOT cabbage and cigars, it's the new perfume by Mariah Carey. Secondly, don't you dare give that woman my number. I have standards.

TheWeyrd1 said...


Certain Magician said...

CJ, sorry about your tooth.

theweyrd1, Welcome to it!