Saturday, June 14, 2008

Get Real or Not!

I recently enjoyed the movie, Lars and the Real Girl. It got me thinking... There are certain advantages to having a girl of the "blow-up" variety.

Let's take a look at the positives and negatives of blow up dolls (BUDs) versus real ones.

This is not the kind of blow up doll I meant!

BUDS: Pros

She won't nag at you, argue with you, or make you late.

She doesn't mind if you put on a little weight.

She never borrows your clothes, or locks herself out of the house.

She never has a headache or a visit from Aunt Flo.

She doesn't get angry with you for reasons unknown.

When you want to take a vacation, no need to clear it or coordinate it.

She fits neatly into your suitcase. Just deflate her and go.

She won't try to change the radio station in the car, or fight you for the remote.

You don't have to spend holidays with her family.

BUDS: Cons

You are free to spend all of your holidays with YOUR family.

Since you never fight, there's never any make-up sex.

You can't extend your wardrobe by borrowing something of hers.

Dropping the car off for service is major hastle.

Sex is too predictable, and she can't call out your name.

Her income potential is seriously limited.

She always agrees with you and thinks your incredibly funny, which becomes boring after about a month.

She may have a beautiful smile, but you'll never know, because she always has that "surprised" look on her face.


comfortandjoy said...

My Certain Magician,

I think neither a real girl nor a blow up doll will do.

You need a magic girl.

I am a body as pliant and flexible as any doll.

And I am a magic that winds around you and courses through you.

I'm available to interview and demonstrate.

Your Own Magic

RED MOJO said...

Very funny. I like the portability and constant look of surprise, but i have to admit, I do like my women a little spicy, and not so darn agreeable all the time. Real skin and body warmth is a huge plus too.

Certain Magician said...

cj, You'll do just fine. No need to audition.

red mojo, Yeah, there are some pretty obvious ones I didn't list. A real girl is kind of a no-brainer.

greymatters said...

Why did I just have a flashback to the mid80s movie "Cherry 2000"?